I seem to have misplaced my rose-colored glasses

It seems odd to me that while I live in a place some would consider paradise (and at times I've considered it that as well) I still have strong lows at times.  I am surrounded by wonderful family and friends, a beautiful apartment, amazing chances at adventure, plenty to keep me busy and truly everything I should need in life. Yet, there are times when I feel so incredibly lonely and close to depressed as if I feel lower than I have ever felt in life. Don’t get me wrong, these feelings don’t last longer than a couple of weeks and in no way do I think anyone should ever feel sorry for me. But I can’t help but question why these feelings even exist when I believe I have no reason or right to feel this way. Quite frankly, it makes me angry and makes me feel incredibly selfish that I have everything I could ever need (while others don't) and yet, I still feel there's something missing.


I was talking to a good friend the other day that has lived in Asia for a number of years and she explained it to me like this, “Trish, being an expat means you are bound to have extreme highs and extreme lows. It’s a lot like a roller coaster. When you’re at the height of the climb everything seems wonderful and exciting. Then when you start to descend you realize that you’re far from home and slightly disconnected from the world you’ve known and trusted and all of the things that you find so amazing about your new home are not as exciting to most people because they are not living it with you and they rightfully find it hard to fathom what you are going through. So really, they just don’t care the way you do. And it gets lonely at that point. But then you start to slowly shift your attitude back to the positive and start enjoying the things around you again that you used to enjoy. And I’m sorry to say that you’ll go through these emotions over and over while you’re here.”

This conversation came about because I confessed that my first year in Taiwan I had magnificently discovered that I had found a pair of bright pink rose-tinted sunglasses that I proudly wore all year! I chose to see everything as beautiful and everything as an adventure. I didn’t live in a huge, smog covered, over populated, dirt stained city with constant rush-hour traffic. No! I lived in a beautiful tropical city that took pride in sweeping their worn down, black soot covered sidewalks and placing artwork and statues in random places to add beauty. I didn’t see buildings that were falling apart from neglect or torn signs built on bamboo frames that were not strong enough for the gusts of wind that bounce off the harbor side of the city. I chose not to see the stray dogs and instead saw animals that are fed with scraps of food from random street vendors and the backdoors of various restaurants as healthy dogs who belonged to the city (Some are even given collars even though they don’t have official owners). I chose to be patient with the heavy traffic and the lack of road rules. I chose to accept that culturally the traffic flows like a river and the only way to survive without an accident is to follow suite and weave in and out of lanes just as everyone else does to keep the traffic moving forward. I chose to make learning a new language an adventure and not see how incredibly hard it is to learn 4 different sounds (minimum) for the same word! And I chose to see everyone as giving and kind-hearted and not see how badly they can sometimes treat each other (most expats seem to get special attention). Mostly, what I chose not to accept is that I was an expat. That life does not happen the same way it does “back home”. That I would have to say good bye to some of the people that had showed me what it is to really be adventurous and open-minded. That I would have to watch my kids cry as they said good bye to their new found best friends who were moving back to their “homes” when the year was done. I had not fully prepared for this part of our journey so ever-so-slowly I began to misplace my rose-colored glasses.

Now that I am starting my second year as an expat and am unsure how long I will have the amazing opportunity to live in a faraway country I have to consciously look for the beauty and see the positive. I have to once again make life into an adventure and go out of my way to find new and exciting things to try (these experiences that once fell into my lap are now fewer and further in between). And slowly but surely, I’m remembering to bring the rose-colored glasses with me.



A scooter parking lot



These blue trucks are all over the city and serve multiple purposes.  They rule the road so watch out!



These bamboo structures are all over the city and are typically attached to buildings.  Plastic advertising banners are tied to the structure and holes are punched in the banners to avoid damage caused by the wind. 
**Side Note:  Some plastic banners are placed on the sides of buildings and literally cover resident windows.  Many times people will cut through the banner to expose their window. 




This is the "bing lady".  Bing translates to ice in Chinese and she makes wonderful "chocolee bings" or chocolate shakes.  It took me 6 months to get a smile from her.  I accomplished that by slipping on the wet floor in front of her shop and literally skating on my flip flops for 3 feet into her arms.  We had a nice laugh.  Apparently, laughter is a universal language.



Sun Moon Lake

A tunnel on the way to Sun Moon Lake

Sun Moon Lake is a must see if you are visiting Central Taiwan.  The lake is very large, set in the mountains, and is a beautiful aqua blue color.  A ferry boat will take you around the lake to three different locations.  The first stop takes you to a Gondola ride and butterfly park.  The Gondala is very high up and will take you over two mountains and eventually stop at an amusment park.  The butterfly park is full of beautiful paths and walkways and various flowers and bushes that attract the butterflies. 









Two women riding across from us on the gondola



View from the Gondola

The second stop takes you to a temple situated up in the mountain.  While we were there we purchased a local favorite, hard boiled eggs boiled in tea.  They were surprisingly very good! 

The final stop is in the main part of Sun Moon Lake where you can enjoy restaurants and shopping.

Lilly in front of a ferry boat



On the ferry ride

A view of the walking paths around the lake

Huge nets of Koi and goldfish were set up at every dock

  

Andrew trying on a traditional Chinese hat

Lilly in Ballet



Lilly's classroom at school



Lilly's first day of school



Lilly has been going to a Chinese speaking pre-school for the past 18 months.  She started out going three days a week and this year started attending 5 days a week.  She is starting to pick up some of the language and often times speaks a kind of English/Chinese mix.  I find it so fascinating how quickly kids can learn a new language!  Her class is taught English for an hour every day and sometimes when I pick her up early I find her at the front of the class teaching them all new words.  She has a lot of fun with it.  To help her transition and to meet new friends we decided to enroll her in a ballet class taught at her school after school on Fridays.  The class is also taught in Chinese.  Lilly loves to dance!

At first Lilly was a little reluctant to follow the movements her teacher was doing.  You see, Chinese ballet is much different than ballet taught in the United States.  In the US a child might be taught how to spin, etc.  In Lilly's class the first thing she was taught was how to do what we call an "egg" pose (we don't speak Chinese to know the technical term).  Basically, you kneel down on your knees and place your hands on the floor (one on top of the other in a cupped position, elbows bent) and then tuck your head in between your arms (looking at the floor).  This is how dances are started and typically end and Lilly has mastered this move.  ***See the video at the end of this post***

Lilly's Ballet Class - Her school teacher is sitting next to her for support and to translate for the first day.  :)

Lilly really enjoyed the class and after bribing her with McDonald's Chicken McNuggets for dinner she decided she would follow the teacher's directions (as much as she could understand).  We were not able to be at the final recital because we were traveling back to CO but I was able to go for the dress rehearsal.  Most of the kids were older than Lilly and she truly does not like being on a stage (nothing like her Mom! ha!) so she decided she didn't want to perform for the video.

Enjoy!

NOTE:  Some interesting things about the way a Taiwanese daycare works: 

• Parents drive up to the front of the building and the teacher comes out, unclicks your child from his/her seat belt, and takes them inside.  After school the teacher brings them out to the car, clicks them into their seat belt, and you drive away (EASY!)
• The teachers are required to put clean clothes on the kids and do the girl's hair before they go home with their parents
• The kids have homework starting at the age of 2
• The kids go on field trips every week to places like the grocery store and train station to teach them life skills



Random Opportunities

I have found that the best way to click in within an expatriate community is to be a "yes person".  Essentially, say yes to anything that comes up... no matter how strange, far away, scary, or just plain out of my comfort zone.  As a result, I've been to some amazing places, have discovered so many things that I wouldn't have imagined seeing and have had a lot of FUN!  Random things come up all the time.  I never know what a week will have in store for me.  For example, this past week.

When you live in a place where only a small part of the population speak your language you tend to become fast friends with anyone who can easily communicate with you.  Case in point:  In December Chris and I took the kids to a Christmas display and were approached by a man moving his family to Taichung from Canada.  He asked if his wife could e-mail me because she had questions about moving.  She and I proceeded to e-mail each other for a couple of months and just met face-to-face last week.  It turns out that her husband is in town working on a Fox movie, The Life of Pi, filming in Taichung.  He and I started talking about the film and he mentioned that I should try out for an extra role as they were in need of European looking individuals.  So, being the "yes person" that I vowed to be I called the casting director and went in the next day for a fitting.  They measured me, took pictures of me, and showed me the costumes for the set.  Two days later they called me to be an extra in a scene that is supposed to take place in Paris in 1959.  And bonus... I get to wear a swimsuit (every woman's dread!!) at a pool party and extra bonus... the film will be filmed in 3D (internal scream!!).  So, again, being the "yes person" that I've become I smiled and said, "Sounds great!" 

Final bonus... they asked me to take pictures of myself in my swimsuit and send them over right away.  If you've ever intentionally taken a picture of yourself in your swimsuit, let me tell you, it is very eye opening!  Next vow, hit the gym every day until March 2nd when we start shooting the pool party scene.  Now, the experience takes a slight turn for the better (in my opinion) because I'm told that they will be sending the pictures I've taken of myself to India where costume designers will design a 1950's style swimsuit to best flatter my figure.  THANK GOD!  I'm still not sure what that will mean so until then my fingers are crossed... and my toes!  Another fun bit of information is that we will be filming the pool party and a tiger that is in the movie will be on set with us.

Bottom line, if I would have said "no" at any point... didn't feel comfortable giving my e-mail address to a stranger, felt too busy to meet said stranger for lunch, was too afraid to call the casting director, felt the drive to the fitting was too far, or said "no" to being in a swimsuit on TV I wouldn't be adding another adventure to my list and the ability to say I'm going to be on an Ang Lee film set. 

I have a feeling I'm going to be so glad I said "yes"!  It hasn't back-fired yet.

As a follow up: I did end up going to the filming for the swimsuit scene and it ended up being an entertaining day. Unfortunately, I had to sign an agreement that I would not post pictures of the set or anything (including myself) on the set until the movie has been released to the public.

We arrived on set (a friend went with me) at 5:00am and were fitted into our swimsuits, had wigs placed on our heads, makeup (including fake eye lashes) done, and finger nails and toes painted in red. My swimsuit was a 1950's style, olive green with an off white flower print, one piece.  It looked great!  We filmed the scene outside around a huge empty pool and set created for blue screen. During editing they will add the water and props. Much to my disappointment there was not a tiger on set.  They also did a 3D scan of each extra to be able to add more people to the scene during editing if necessary.  So, who knows... maybe I'll see myself walking along the pool (even though I never shot that scene).  It was very cold so we had to act warm... somewhat difficult with chattering teeth. Ang Lee was there and hand placed every extra (about 80 of us) along the set. I would do it all again in a heart beat. I'm sure the scene will only be a few seconds in the entire film and the parts where they scan past me will be cut but it was worth it! The experience was awesome!

Grocery shopping in Taichung

Grocery shopping in Taiwan seems to take forever!  I try to go every Monday and then stock up for the week.  The shops are so crowded on the weekends that it would take me twice as long!!  Every other week I head to Costco about 20 min away and can purchase things like milk, cheese, bagels, and cereals that are harder to find at regular grocery stores in our area.  When I do find those items at a regular grocery store they are much smaller and very over-priced.  If I don't get to Costco at 10:00am when it opens, it will take me at least an hour to get through the store.  There are grocery cart traffic jams, people stroll through and take their time, and as samples are always being given away there are lines all over the store of at least 10-20 people (they will wait in line for 15-30 min for a small bite of bread because it's free).  All of that combined equals a very slow shopping experience. 

I race home to put the cold items away.  By now the process has taken about 1.5 to 2 hours.  I then head back out to hit the local grocery store about 15 min away where I pick up meat products.  I can get various frozen meat products at Costco but our freezer is very small and wouldn't fit the large quantities we would have to purchase.  I can also get produce but I prefer to go to the markets for those items because they tend to be fresher and less expensive. Stopping by the local grocery store typically takes about 30 minutes total.  20 of those minutes are spent trying to find parking and then trying to get out of the parking garage.

I race back home to put the meat in the refrigerator.  You're probably wondering why I don't go straight from Costco to the grocery store...  It gets so hot outside most of the time that all of my frozen items would thaw in that amount of time in our car.

So, I've been shopping and racing around town now for about 3 hours when my grocery list is almost complete.  The final and easiest part is stopping by the local market after I pick up the kids from school.  They love to see all of the fruits and vegetables, meat, chickens, and desserts that are sold there.  The market we like to go to the best is right down the street from Andrew's school and has a free parking lot that we can easily park in.  It's a quick trip, we get to practice some Chinese with the vendors and most of the time we run into some friends.

Needless to say, while the experience is an interesting one, sometimes I yearn for the ease and efficiency of grocery shopping in the US!  :)

Chris and Andrew getting ready to bike to the grocery store

Grapefruits the size of your head at the market

Lilly and Andrew at a market near our home



A busy market.  Notice the t-shirts for sale in the back.  The sign behind the oranges says, " 6 oranges for 100NT" which is about $3 US.

Andrew's Chinese

Andrew has Chinese class at school for an hour every day.  He's doing well so far.  Check it out....